Long silence eh? One entry only for the month of June? It is because I'm keeping myself busy as in less than two months, I'll be in my home country! Just in time for fasting month and Syawal or Eid as they term it here.
The environment is not friendly to me anymore especially during the summer as I constantly get hayfever - my eyes turn red almost everyday. I can't be taking antihistamine, the hayfever relief medicine everytime. Who knows what side effects I might have. So the best thing is to go back where I belong. Besides, my husband has to resume work in November; I can't be staying by myself here and manage everything like I did before.
Wherever I am, my work is not affected as I will still continue with my study till the end. This last two month would be a marathon for me as I need to have draft of few chapters before I leave so that I can have a peace in mind embracing Ramadhan and Syawal when I get back. I'm also preparing stuff for the conference in Dublin in August. And right after the conference, I'll fly back.
Friends who know that I'm leaving have been asking about my treatment. Well, I have completed all four cycles of the Doxorubicin and Cyclophosphamide and I'm due for either paclitaxel or ixabepilone when I get back from my course next week. I don't intend to infuse anymore drug as even if I have it, I won't be able to complete it. So, might as well not having it at all as I need the energy for my marathon as well as packing my stuff to bring back home. I haven't told my doctor yet and will do it during the next visit on 6/7/09. I'll be meeting my breast care nurse too as recently she called to find out how I was doing and she was also planning to set an appointment with the surgeon. I guess I don't need one since I'll be leaving soon. The lump is gone and I don't see a need to go for surgery. I read in the article on John Hopkin's update recently that surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites. As my mother said, "bondo elok buek apo bongka2 (in loghat Negeri Sembilan) I'd better not having surgery at all. Whether I still have it or I might be cancer-free by now, the most important thing is to watch my diet. And back home I have a ceragem massage bed where I can massage my body everyday. I read in the Internet about a lady whose cancer is cured or controlled by massaging everyday and hopefully it works on me too. No worry, Ramadhan is coming, who know I might encounter the lailatul Qadar and my wish will come true...
KARI IKAN MACKEREL JEPUN
5 weeks ago